are inspiration and motivation the same thing?

i think my motivation lacks integral existence whereas

my inspiration seems to flourish

although nourishing at times i find

my mind is mostly spoiled

wheras my will to act can seem most often

gone.

if i sound convoluted or delusional

deluded and confusing, all poluted

by my musing on the processes im using

to examine my conclusions

then imagine my position to myself.

understand, i never planned for this

and i am no evangelist, but see

if you can handle this

decree

If every poem is a question,

What is this one asking you?

If you give me a suggestion

I will have to think it through

My question is unquestioning

And my quest is all but blessed to bring

The answer back and back

Returning right for right I have the knack

To carry on for long to long

So I say rightly that it's wrong

To think the question I am posing

Is the same that your supposing

It's confusing, I am certain

But even as a pull the curtain

I do realize that I don't know

how I got here in the first place

And my mind has as of yet to grow

The thought that follows in the first case.

So belittling to find I cannot understand myself

Write another line and take a new book off the shelf

Record nothings and delete them,

Or publish them online

Ask my friends if I should keep them

They say yes all the time

Do you collect the dishwater After it is used

It is the same when I keep my stress on pages

After it has been diffused

Is it nice to see the narrow alleys

In the dark parts of my head

Do you enjoy the sound my heart makes

When I think of friends now dead

My emotions make a great performance

A really moving show

Bloddied dishwater on a canvas

Of things I dont really want you to know

What is that question, clever wordplay

Smoke and flashbulbs for your ears

Mind your thoughts when you are listening

And don't expect me to bring you tears.

Sometimes when we talk

I hear your song inside my head

A balad, broken, lovely,

sung by life Into my ears,

The tune is melancholy and distressing

The hammers on the strings depressing

Ten thousand moments bleeding,

beatin drums Of realized fears

Your voice has always soothed me

And your words have always moved me

Spinning songs out of disaster

Making my soul so clouded clear

Your song is the one I hear

In my life's fewest darkest hour

s Calling me, reminding me

What I have to hold so dear

Sometimes in my life

I hear your song and I feel home

I find my heart, it beats the tune

The rythem of of you is in my bones

I never wrote your balad down

I don't think I know the words

But I will know it when I hear it

As the wind knows well the birds

who are these final fatal flocks of fallen

fighting forward to be eaten by the vice to which their callen

craven and cold, centuries old, calloused to the point of numbness

beaten and bold, bloodied and sold, how can i survive among this

where to go but crazy, what to act but lazy, thou my mind is hazy

i can feel everything

every barb and every sting, even all the stones you fling

 they choke out all the words i sing

can you hear me over the clatter,

if you could hear would it matter?

can i change the thoughts you think,

will you walk with me to the brink

of breaking, now im shaking what is taking

so long, whats wrong, stay strong

can you hear the morals quaking

saying love as if they meant it,

cant get time back once you spent it

if we go there, would you lament it?

now that time has pased, are we living in eterninty?

now that this is asked, what is the purpose of modernity?

how is progess different from change

when you dont know where your going

why do we live in a system so strange

that you learn this right from birth,

that scraps of paper define your worth

that its ok to destroy the earth

if your bennifiting socioty

i would rather build up notoriety

as a crazy lazy flunky

i play in trees like a monkey, i mix it up to stay funky

and yes i still love my first love, even tho shes a junkie,

but i guess this is all what i meant to say

so as you go through your day

think on things a new way, try to wander astray

for if you hold nothing as truth, then there are no lies

but if you never look up then there are no skys

besides, you know we want to see into your eyes

so we can take a peek into your soul